The Mirror Has Two Faces

A year has passed and in last one year, I felt alone many times. I knew I am in search for something (or someone) and I always knew what it was. I waited really long for this moment to come and I traveled a long distance to see him. I was still not sure that he would be agree to come with me.

As soon as I started to walk on the same old road my heart started sinking. “Nothing has changed in one year”, I thought. I was about to reach my destination and I felt that something was melting inside me, something very big or very heavy. I knew it was a emotion, probably the most common and most strong thing (I am not sure it is a right word) in the life of a human.

The place was exactly same as I left: same shopping space, same restaurant, same cigarette shop and same bench in the center of that area. The place was crowded as usual but my eyes were looking for someone very familiar and very close.

When I saw him, he was sitting on the same bench where I left him year back. He was quite and he was not looking at anyone or anything. He was lost in his own space. I went towards him and sat besides him. He didn’t see me but I noticed a smile on his lips. He said, “I knew you would come”.

I: Time to go back

He didn’t reply and gave a faint smile.

I: It has been a year and you still sitting on the same place. What are you still waiting for?

He: I am not waiting for anything. It is just that I don’t want to leave this place.

I: I could never understand that why you are so emotional. We faced the same situation but the only difference is that I moved on and you still sitting on the same place. Initially time was tough for me too but I fought against it and now I am a happy and satisfied man.

He: Then why are you here?

I: I am here because of you. I feel incomplete without you. We started our life together. We were so different but we were the perfect combination. I always considered you as the best part of mine.

He: Practical people like you should not talk like this. You moved on because I was not with you. I choose to stay here coz it is me because of whom you suffered. You were practical and perfect. I took everything seriously. I know you don’t allow people to come so close that they can hurt you. I did and we both paid for it.

I: It is your way of thinking. I did not suffer because of you. I suffered because the destiny has planned to make me stronger. I moved on because of you. I alone am not perfect and you know people love me more because of you than me. Whatever comes in life has some purpose. I feel stronger and better than before. You know me; I never miss the learning when I miss the success.

He: You always impress me by your words. Sometimes I am just amazed that how can you be so practical.

(I saw him smiling and suddenly for a second I felt a wave of contentment inside my mind and soul)

I: I have come here coz I have much bigger dreams for my life now. Whatever happened last year, it has wakened up the best inside me. Now I really thank those who hurt my ego, they forced the best in me to come in to existence. I just need you back in my life and I know all the bad memories would be erased. And I know you would come with me.

He did not say anything. He was lost again in his space. I saw his face: calm, content and selfless.

I started moving away from him. “Probably he is not ready yet” I thought. My legs suddenly stopped in front of that cigarette shop where I stopped year before. I lit a Classic Mild and everything flashed out in front of my eyes like a movie.

20th July 2008. Me sitting on the same bench and smoking the same cigarette, collecting the pieces of some broken dreams, loosing the battle of ego for the first time. Me, leaving the place and trying to keep my self respect alive and me, leaving something very important on the same bench.



I smiled again and my smiled told me that whatever happened here a year back was destined to happen. I have changed after that and that change was desired. I don’t really care about the past and the one who cares was still there, watching me leaving the place for ever. I knew that next time when I will come here it would be a new place for me. I crushed the cigarette below my sole and the emotions inside my soul. My world is different now.

Emotions were still flowing inside my nerves. I told to myself that this story has never been about love or friendship or broken relations. The story has always been of my self respect & identity and finally self realization. Some times you must meet the worst in order to see the best in you. I was happy that I finally came here but I was disappointed that he did not come with me. He was still sitting there.

The road was empty. People generally don’t like to walk in the afternoon of hot summer in Noida but I was not feeling anything. I was just walking to leave the place behind me for ever and suddenly I heard the sound of steps behind me. I turned back.

His steps were straight and confident. His face calm and having no signs of regret. His body language same as before, of a man who don’t care who rule this world. His eyes having same brightness as before.

He was the same old Niteesh, the best part of my soul.

"WILL" ALONE

“WILL” ALONE

WHEN I AM AGAINST AIR, WHEN NO ONE THERE TO CARE

WHEN NO DREAMS ARE SPARE,WHEN NOTHING LEFT TO SHARE

I DRIVE MY SOUL.

WHEN ROAD IS TOO LONG,WHEN ENEMY IS TOO STRONG

WHEN JOY IS TOO SHORT,WHEN COURAGE DENIES TO RESTART

I DRIVE MY SOUL.

WHEN THE END IS CERTAIN, WHEN THE SUCCESS IS HARD TO MAINTAIN

WHEN LOSS EVERYWHERE NOTHING TO GAIN, WHEN AIR BRINGS ONLY PAIN

I DRIVE MY SOUL

WHEN I AM ALONE IN CROWD ,WHEN SILENCE IS VERY LOUD

WHEN NIGHT IS FULL OF FEAR, WHEN I NEED A FRIEND BUT NO ONE NEAR.

I DRIVE MY SOUL

WHEN SMILE BRINGS TEARS IN EYES, WHEN JOYS ARE SHORT AND TIME FLIES

WHEN NOTHING IS VISIBLE AND ROAD IS LONG, WHEN EVERYBODY IS SAYING YOU ARE WRONG

I DRIVE MY SOUL

WHEN NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME, WHEN QUESTION IS OF MY DIGNITY

WHEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO REPLY, WHEN MY INNER SELF WANT TO CRY

I DRIVE MY SOUL

WHEN SUCCESS IS MY CROWN, FOR EVERY ONE I AM REKNOWN

WHEN PEOPLE COUNT ME FIRST, WHEN NO ONE AFFORDS ME TO NEGLECT

I CONTROL MY SOUL.