Thursday, January 6, 2011

...and the journey continues

I wasn’t sure that the decision of leaving for Bangalore is right or wrong. It had been 2 months I was without job in Delhi and Bhai was suggesting me to try in Bangalore. When I put my papers in EY, I was very positive about the job offers from two companies. At both the places HR people had communicated that I am through. EY experience had not been good for me and I always wanted to leave the firm. I took a bold (or may be stupid) decision and resigned from EY without getting job offers from any other firm. Things turned rough after that and both the firms did not make the final offer. In the next two months, I had understood that if 2007 was a bad year for me, 2008 is going to be worse. I was right. Apart from the job factor some more surprises were waiting for me. Some really good ones. I was almost broken down by the way things were moving and then I decided to move to Bangalore. I was sad. I never wanted to leave Delhi.

I reached Bangalore on 23rd July, 2008. I was dying to get a job. I learned that the worst part about being jobless is not that you don’t get money; rather its loneliness you get when you have nothing but time. Pizzas losses its taste and all movies become boring when you are not happy from inside. Another thing which I realized during that time is that when your own strength breaks, the only thing which can force you to move ahead is the trust and motivation of your loved ones. Bhai and Bhabhi were doing the same thing for me at that time.

Somewhere in the last week of August I received a call from a consultant regarding some job opening in Kotak Mahindra Bank. I have never been interested in Bank jobs but I decided to give the interview. When I reached at the main branch of the bank I saw a big crowd of not so professionally dressed people (mostly boys and very few girls). I was under impression that this interview is for the operation division of the bank but to my surprise it was actually for a sales job. The profile was to sell credit cards to corporate sector people. I don’t know why but I gave the interview. Most of the guys there were simple graduates. I met with the regional head of the bank in last round and after having a look at my resume he just told me one thing.
“I know that you are not going to stay.”

I thought they will not take me but I got the job offer from the bank and they were offering me Assistant Sales Manager profile with the same package on which I had left EY. Keeping in mind the fact that I was not doing job since 4 months, the offer wasn’t bad. I was in big dilemma. From consulting to sales……doesn’t sounds to be a good switch. After doing analysis of each and every factor I decided to take up the job. I wasn’t happy. I felt like a looser.
Till the time Bhai and Bhabhi reached home from office I had already convinced myself to take up the job. When I informed my decision to them, Bhai just said two lines.
“You are not born to sell Credit Cards…forget about the job and keep searching the profile you want.”
(No offense to sales people. Its just that I am not interested in sales job)

I did not join that job. I was confused between two thoughts “am I missing an opportunity OR I am refusing to compromise”. I know time will give the answer. It gave.

Next week I cleared interview in a small business research firm. This job offer was special coz it offered me the profile I wanted. I stayed there for 2.5 years. Time moved on and I regained almost all the things which I had lost. My confidence, my self respect and above all “Myself”. Pizzas had become tasty again and movies a good option to pass time. People who had been criticizing me for many of my decisions had started taking my favor. And I was there noticing that how people change with time. Both the best and the worst part about time is that its keep changing. That’s how life works. 2009 went really good and I met some very good people who helped me a lot in erasing the bad memories of 2008.

2009 and 2010 passed very quickly. I guess that’s why people say that good time flies. Good friends, parties every weekend, regular holiday trips and no worries. But there was something else which made this time wonderful…company of two most wonderful people and closest friends throughout “Bhai and Bhabhi”.
During the second half of 2010 I had almost decided to settle down in Bangalore but destiny has got the best sense of humor in the universe. There was a time when I did not want to move out of Delhi and it forced me to move to Bangalore and when I had almost decided that I will settle down in the city I got a job offer from Delhi. Surprises meets you when you least expect them.

I had put down my papers and was serving my notice period. One day, I got a call on my mobile and some lady spoke on the other side
“Am I speaking to Mr. Niteesh?”
Yes you are.

“Sir, I am calling from Kotak Mahindra bank and we are offering you a life time free titanium credit card. Would you be interested in it? I can send my executive to your office to collect the documents”
No. I am not interested.

I cut the phone. I thought something and I smiled.
The small calendar on my work station was showing 7th dec 2010. “Just 5 days left, Bangalore….so many beautiful memories….so many wonderful friends….an awesome stop in the journey of life” I though and I put the calendar and some other stuff inside my bag. These all were gifts from my close friends. After all, memories and souvenirs are the only things left after a journey ends.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Turning Point

Year 2002.
CPMT (Medical entrance examination for the medical colleges in UP) result was out. Being a stud in my school life, many hopes were attached to me. My parents knew that I will crack the nut. I did, but my rank was good enough only to get BDS (not MBBS).

More than thousand students (mostly accompanied by their parents) were collected in the huge counseling hall with hopes and dreams of becoming a doctor. Roll numbers were called and students were moving towards counseling board room. I had already filled the form and was about to take admission in a dental college. When my roll number was called, I moved towards the counseling board along with my dad. The girl (8 out of 10) just before me was talking to counselors about the availability of the seats in different colleges. She was discussing more about the same college I was planning to join. An exciting thought ran into my mind. I started imagining her sitting next to me in the classroom. I closed my eyes and I saw that professor is dictating something and all students are writing. She is sitting so close to me that as I moved my hand to start writing, my shoulders touched with hers. She turned her head and our eyes met. She smiled. I found myself smiling standing in the queue. The girl was still filling the form.
My parents always wanted me to be a doctor, though they never specified but they always meant MBBS doctor. I knew they are not happy with my decision of joining BDS. The girl had got admission in that dental college. I found my future classmate smiling. Her father too was looking happy. “Either her father is dentist or he knows that my daughter is not capable enough to get MBBS” I thought. My turn came and I started filling the form. Seats were available in the college. I saw the girl watching me writing the same college name. She smiled. I knew I am born to be a dentist.
“Are you’re sure that you are comfortable with BDS” dad asked. “Yeah” I replied
Would you like to try one more year?
“No papa. I don’t want to waste one more year” I had filled the form and my arm was moving towards the counselor to handover the form along with the bank draft of 20K to block the seat.
We always wanted you to become MBBS doctor but its fine. If you are happy we are happy.
I looked in my dad’s eye. I saw myself standing in a white apron and stethoscope around my neck. I did not look like a dentist. I was looking like a surgeon. I pulled back my hand.
I will prepare one more year. I told to my dad.
I did. Next year, I did not even get BDS. Life has decided something else

Year 2005
I was irritated. The address mentioned in my admit card of MAT (entrance exam for B grade B schools) had some problems. I wasn’t able to get the centre of my test. Gomti Nagar in Lucknow is a big residential colony which is divided in to many khands (blocks) starting with V (Vipul khand, Vineet khand, Vishal Khand etc). My center was a “St Bosco school” in Viraj khand. I had searched all the roads in Viraj khand but I did not find the school. Even the locals were not able to help me. I was on a rikshaw and after the search continued for over 30 minutes, Rikshewale bhaiya got angry. I paid him some money and started walking. I saw my watch. It was 9.55 am. Test had to start at 10.
I was helpless. I had started thinking of doing MBA just before two months and MAT was the only entrance exam (having atleast OK type college) left at that time. If I could not join any college through this test I would definitely have to sit atleast 6 months at home doing nothing.
“Excuse me; do you know where St Bosco School is?” Some female voice knocked my ears. She was 8.5-9 out of 10 girl. She was in the back seat of a car and some driver looking person was driving it.
“I would have been sitting inside the class reading instructions if I had” I replied in not so polite tone. She saw me in surprise, waited for few seconds and understanding the situation, she said, “come inside. You will take years to find the college by walk”
The girl suddenly changed the way my destiny was behaving. The next man we asked the address was probably “LORD BRAMHA” himself. He said “this school is not in Viraj khand, it’s in Virat khand. 5-6 km from here. Probably it is a type error”. He told us the way.
I looked towards the sky from the car window and said to God “man, typo error in the admit card of my entrance exam. What were you planning to do with me”?
We reached the center at 10.15 pm. When I finished the test, I realized that I did not say thanks to the girl. When we reached in the school I was in so hurry that neither did I say thanks to the girl nor I saw which classroom she went into. My eyes were looking everywhere to find the girl. “If I find her I will say thanks and I will ask her for coffee also. After all she is a nice girl and she is pretty too. A rare combination” I was talking to myself. I had reached at the main entrance of school when I saw the girl. We waved to each other and I started moving towards her. Suddenly, a Papa type person came into existence from nowhere and the girl started talking to him. I stopped……… I could not say thanks.
I got good percentile in MAT. Joined Amity. Fell in love. Got campus placement. Moved to Hyderabad. Broke up. Came to Bangalore. Started another job. Met thousands of new people and so many wonderful friends. Overall, last 5 years have been wonderful. All because of that girl who gave me lift that day. Leave coffee, I could not even ask her name.
That day when I talked to God while going towards my centre, he had given the reply of my question. I just could not hear it then.
“Dude, typo error was from your fellow humans. I sent someone to help. And coz you are close to me, that someone was a girl. An 8.5 out of 10 girl.”

Monday, August 23, 2010

Love Story of a Dog

I don’t remember my date of birth. I don’t remember where I was born. The first thing which I remember about myself is that they were saying I am cute. I was of about 15 days then. I wasn’t even able to walk properly. When I entered in the house I knew my life is going to be special. Now, I am around 10 years old and I know that the end is near. My name is Bruno. I am a brown Labrador and this is my story.

I have a beautiful family. Mom, dad and Divya, my sis. They all love me. Divya is the only daughter of my parents. She loves me more than anyone else in this world. Whenever she is at home she spends most of the time with me. She talks to me a lot but unfortunately I could never understand most of the things she speaks. Although I always pretend that I understand her. That gives us happiness, I guess. Somehow I have understood the meaning of some words like “sit down” “shut up” “get out” etc. I know, I am not supposed to understand more than these words in this life.

I remember one day Divya was telling me something and she was looking very happy. She was pulling my both ears with excitement. It was hurting but I did not want to interrupt her. I feel good when I see my family happy. After talking to me for long, Divya showed me a picture of hers with a male human. They were very close to each other in the pic. I recognized the guy in the picture. He was the same who comes to home with Divya quite often, mostly when mom and dad are not at home. Whenever he comes, Divya spends all the time with him. I hate this guy. Probably, Divya is in love with this guy. I wasn’t able to understand Divya’s feeling at that time but I was going to understand it very soon.

I was sitting on the grass of our lawn when I saw her for the first time. She was standing just outside our main door. She had put her leg between the two iron bars of our main gate and was trying to pull a piece of bread which I had left just inside the door. As soon as I saw her I barked and ran towards her. I do that every time when I see a street dog. When she saw me coming, she pulled her leg back from between the bars and stepped back. I smiled coz I did not let her take the bread. I looked at her with a winning smile and suddenly everything got changed. She was clean unlike other street dogs. She was white with black patches. She was slim..zero figure I guess. But the best part was her blue eyes, just like Aish’s (I have seen some of Aish’s movie with Divya). She was one feet away from me, just outside our main door. I had seen a female of my species so close to me for the first time. I was lost. Suddenly she turned back and disappeared.

I spent rest of the day thinking about her. I don’t know what has happened to me. I was feeling bad for not letting her take the bread. I had screwed my chance to make a girlfriend. Next day, I intentionally left a piece of bread on the main door and waited for her for really long. She didn’t come. Four days passed and I was leaving breads everyday but she did not appear. I thought I would never be able to see her but then one day I saw her standing at some distance and finding something (probably food) from the garbage. I saw her moving towards our house. “Damn…she is beautiful” I thought. The piece of bread was lying near the door. I pushed it closer to the door and came inside the house. Actually, I was hiding behind the wall to see her. She came waited for really long before coming near to gate. She wanted to check that it is not a trap. She easily got the bread and ate. I felt good, don’t know why.

That day onwards I was doing that every day. Leaving bread near the door exactly at the same time when she comes and then sit quietly on lawn to wait for her. Somehow, I had managed to give her confidence that I am not an enemy. Now she used to take the bread even when I am in lawn and watching her. Mom, dad and Divya were wondering why I am spending so much time outside the house. I guess they were thinking that I have become more sincere towards the security of our house now.

Before all this stuff, I used to hate those romantic movies which Divya watched before going to sleep. Now days, I was loving those movies. Things were progressing and she was not at all afraid of me now. She had understood that I am a friend. So far I never went close to her while she is eating the bread. I used to roam around the lawn area while she is eating the bread, ignoring her completely. Style…you know.

One day I was intentionally standing near the gate while she was coming to take her daily meal. She saw me standing there and she stopped. “I immediately turned back and came inside the house. I will have to wait few more days” I thought.

And then came that day, I was sitting just near the door and she came. She saw me, waited for few seconds and then moved her leg inside to take the bread. I remain still like dead. I did not want to lose this chance by scaring her. She saw me staring at her. Things progressed from there and we started talking. Every afternoon she used to come and we had long talks. One day, I saw some dogs following her on streets…son of a bitch.
I was jealous.

I was sure she likes me too and why not…I am good looking, rich, and a top breed. Meanwhile, Divya had seen us with each other few times but she didn’t say anything. One day when we were together she came towards us and asked me to come in. I obeyed. Family..u know.
Divya spoke to me for very long. Probably Divya was trying to say that that she did not like that street dog. Well, even I don’t like her boy friend and what a big deal if she is a street dog. Love stories don’t see rich and poor. Divya has seen Titanic but still she don’t understand. I did not stop leaving breads and she did not stop coming. Rather Divya stopped bothering me. True love wins, u see.

She had become bit fat now coz her lunch bread were increasing in number. I did not care coz love doesn’t depend on physical beauty.

One summer afternoon, I was watching her eating breads. Suddenly she bent her body in a strange way and slipped inside the door. I always wondered why there was a half feet space between the door and ground. Now, I had understood that was God’s vision. This was the first time we were so close to each other and there were no stupid iron bars between us. I took her to the area behind parking and guess what…..we made love. We made love like dogs.

From that day onwards we did that every time we got the opportunity. I love summer afternoon coz everyone prefers to be inside house. Life was perfect.

Even mom and dad have seen me giving bread pieces to her but they never said anything. Things moved nicely for next few months and one day I noticed that she is pregnant. I would become father in less than 2 months. I was the happiest dog on the earth that day. But everything has an end, isn’t it?

Next one month was normal. Things were moving as earlier and then she started looking ill. One day she came and stayed very long. She was looking very tired. When she left I saw her going away until she disappeared. That was the last day I saw her.

I waited for many days but she didn’t come. I knew something wrong has happened. I was sad and unfortunately I was not able to share it with someone. Divya has probably understood. She talked to me many times though I could never understand what she is trying to say. Being a dog sometimes sucks. Well…can’t help it.
I was still spending most of the time in lawn waiting for her. I was still leaving bread pieces at door. Many times I imagined her standing outside the door. I was sad and I thought my love story has reached to an end. I was wrong to some extent.

One day I saw a very young dog across the street. He was brown with white patches on him. He was looking different from other street dogs. Muscular body, broad head, long ears. He was hardly one month old and he was barking at a cow, 100 times bigger than him. I smiled.

Years have passed but I still remember everything about her. Those days were amazing. I don’t have anything to regret coz being a dog I couldn’t expect a better life. I got a great family, I never had to sleep without food and above all I have someone of my type to think about. Now, I am an old dog. I am not able to walk very long and my eyesight has become very week. I am lucky that I still have my family support with me. Divya has got married to the same guy. She comes home quite often. Mom, dad still loves me a lot.

[This story is not complete fiction. I have heard many stories of Bruno from his sis (and my close friend) and I have compiled those stories in this post.]

Monday, June 28, 2010

...and Just Like That

Three months have passed and I did not hear anything from him. I knew he wants to be alone and so I did not try to contact him. I had already started my survey and successfully interviewed more than 10 people. Few of them were my friends and few my friend’s friend. Some of my friend thought I am crazy and I was wondering why they noticed it so late. Responses from the people I was interviewing were really good. One fact which I realized during these discussions was that people feel better to talk to a person who hears their problem or pain without providing his/her expert comments and without digging more. I made some good friends during all these stuff. One of them was a nice girl who was my friend’s friend. I found this girl really sensible & mature and she found me very funny (it’s my guess ;). She supported my survey and I was glad that I finally found someone who has respect for my stupid thoughts. We became very good friend in next few days.

When I reached his place I found that nothing has changed inside his room. All the DVDs, cards, pics which she gifted him were at the same places I saw last time. I told him to destroy all those things but he refused. We talked for 3-4 hours and 90% time his talks were related to her. Till the moment I left his place I had become so irritated that I could bang my head on the wall but fortunately I am not stupid enough to do that. But yeah, I am smart enough to do one thing. When I left his place I stole three romantic songs DVDs which she gifted him. One more thing which I had learned from my survey that destroying the old gifts and souvenirs helps in recovery a lot. I gifted those DVDs to my new pretty friend. The DVDs were of highly romantic songs and the girl misunderstood me initially. She said;
“Hey, you are really a nice guy and very good friend of mine. But I cannot think in that direction. I don’t have any feelings for you except friendship. “
Damm..life is funny. Isn’t it?
I explained her everything and told her my friend’s story. We laughed loudly at this incident. Next time when I visited his place he slapped me really hard. He said “I cannot believe you are trying to steal my memories. I hate you. Get lost.”
I got lost (just for that day)

Some more months passed and I introduced my new friend to my old friend. Somewhere in my heart I wanted something between these two. When I said this to him he gave me an “I will kill you right away” look. In next few meets, they mixed up very nicely. She also convinced him to get rid of all the gifts he got from her ex. I had tried it so many times and he never listened to me. I wondered why guys can be convinced so easily by girls. We started hanging out together and many times we where together I had a Déjà vu feeling…….only the girl was different. His recovery was really good after he met her. Through all this I understood one more fact that only a girl can fulfill the emptiness given by another girl. “God..I am becoming expert in human relations” I thought. Meanwhile my friend has started laughing again but still he was relating most of the discussions to his past which was quite irritating for me but our new friend was supporting him every time.

One day she called me and said what I was expecting to hear “I think I have started feeling for him. I think about him all the time.”
“So what do I do? Go and tell him” I said
I am afraid. Why don’t you ask him what he feels for me?
“I don’t have time for all this crap. My friends are waiting for me in a pub. Nothing is important than beer”. I hung up and smiled. Things were going in the same direction I expected. She was the perfect match for him.

One day I called him at 11.30 in night and his phone was busy. Out of curiosity I called her and her phone was also busy. After that I tried it many times and results were same. Neither of the two ever complained why I do so.

He met me in the same old park. He was looking worried.
‘She proposed me”
I looked at his face and said “so?” I pretended to be careless about it.
“You know everything. I am not ready for all this again” He replied.
Then say no.
I can’t. I mean I can’t say no directly. She is a nice girl. She has become my best friend. She listens to all my crap without saying anything. (Dammmmm. I did the same thing for even longer period but I am sure he never noticed that) She is helping me in getting back to life. I can’t hurt her.

He kept speaking good thing about her. I could have taken a nap. I knew he has started feeling for her but he is not going to admit it so easily or probably he don’t even know that. When he finished his essay he looked at me expecting to hear something and I said:

“I always thought I am your best friend”

He was irritated coz I was not trying to understand him and he was very right. As soon as he left the place I received call from her. She was sounding happy. She told me that he is not ready yet and he will take some time. I knew she is right.

And just like that another story was going to reach at happy ending.

I was about to move from the place and my phone rang. It was a call from an unknown number. I picked up the call. Though I was hearing her voice after a long time but I recognized it

“Its been long. Just wanted to know how you guys doing? I cannot call him so called you. How is he? Does he talk about me? Does he count me among the worst person he met in his life? Is he seeing someone? Does he miss me?

She wanted to ask so many questions and I knew the answer of all of them but I was not interested in telling. Some questions need to be unanswered. I cut the phone. As I turned, I saw the same old board. Some interesting person has removed the word “NO”. It was now saying “Thank you for smoking”.

I had left smoking. I smiled.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Just Like That

I would not say that he is my best friend but he has always been among my closest ones. He is more important to me as compared to other friends because he is among very few people to whom I discuss my problems. Our friendship is many years old and we know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. We have so many friends in common but whenever we need to share something important we meet alone. He is a simple guy, away from the politics of this world, calm, sensitive and pure from heart. One major difference between us is that I have never been much interested in love stories and he is a firm believer in love at first sight. I remember that he used to tell me that someone somewhere is made for you and the day she will meet you, your world will change. I always laughed on all this crap.

It was chilling evening of November when he introduced me to a pretty girl. We went for a coffee and the moment I was sipping my hot coffee I saw them lost in each other’s eyes. She was smiling and I knew that my boy has found his love. While we three were walking back from coffee shop, it was only me who was speaking. While I was telling her some funny story my dear friend was staring at her like an Alzheimer’s patient. She caught him many times staring at her and every time they exchanged a gaze, she smiled. After many minutes and many sentences I found that no one is interested in my story. After two months I witnessed the moment when he proposed her. I don’t know why but he wanted to propose her in front of me and he did that. Probably he wanted someone to take care of him if the girl says no. I did not get chance to know whether my guess is right or wrong because she immediately said yes and told that she was eagerly waiting for this day to come. I was the third happiest person on the earth at that moment.

Years passed and their love grew with every single passing day. The intensity of our friendship wasn’t affected by their relation though we were spending comparatively less time with each other now. One day he called me up and when I asked about her he told me that everything is going perfect and they have started making future plans as well. Apart from convincing their families and marriage time, their future plans also included the name of their kids. I laughed loudly; these romantic people are so funny. He was really happy that day.

Few more months passed. I was busy in my new job and we had not talked for quite a long time but I was too busy to think about him. One day I found him standing in front of my door. He was looking pale and I knew he has some bad news to tell.

“Her family is against our marriage. They are marrying her to someone else.” He said in slow and heavy voice. “She is broken. They are doing it forcefully. They are emotionally blackmailing her.” He wanted to tell me so many things in few seconds.

After hearing the story I said to him “call her and tell her that we are coming to take her”
No. He replied.

Why not? Are you afraid of anything?
No. I have already told her what you want to me to tell her. I am ready to do anything but I don’t want to force her. I don’t want to convince her for this yes. If I love her truly she will come back.

“What if she doesn’t come back?” I asked
“Sill will come” He replied.

I could see a hope in his empty eyes. I knew that he wanted to prove his love in his own heart. I knew he is waiting and I prayed God that she comes back.

She did not.
Our friendship had completed one circle. We started with each other and there we were: the two of us”.

We were sitting in the park. I was smoking and a board just in front of me was saying “Thank you for no smoking”. Sometimes, situations throw jokes on us when we don’t need them. Still I manage to smile.

“So..now what?” I asked.
“Need some time to rethink about my life. I have lost myself, I need to find me.” He replied

I had seen this guy falling deeply in love. I knew he was in great pain. I saw his face and I realized why I am scared of emotional people.

“Hurting?…badly???????”
Yes.

“I don’t know why she did this” I said.
We don’t know her side of story completely and so we should not comment. I just know few things. She loved me but I was not the top of her priority list and there is nothing wrong in that. I would be all right in some time. This time may be years. I believe in God. He has answers for all the questions. I know he will give me the answer.

This is about future…what about today.
It’s hurting…badly

He stood up and left. I have felt the emptiness in his heart. I thanked God that he did not make me too emotional. I have always been careless and I love the way I am. At least I don’t give people any chance to hurt me. I wanted to see how things will go now. I always wanted to do a survey on the average time taken to return in normal life after a break-up, especially for guys. I knew I will do it now. I lit another cigarette. The board was still saying “Thank you for no smoking”. I smiled. Howsoever bad the situation is; a joke is always welcomed.

To be continued…